Eureka: Substitution Method by Cris Ramsay

By John Darrin

I’ve been writing these articles for a while now, and Cris Ramsey was the most difficult author yet to research – there is literally nothing about him on the Internet, just references to his novel Eureka: Substitution Method. Then my editor pointed out that Cris Ramsey is a pseudonym, a pen-name for Aaron Rosenberg, a very prolific author from New York City with over 100 published works to his credit. Great, I thought, this will be easy.

It’s never easy. If you want to know about Aaron Roseneurg-the-orthopedist or Aaron Rosenberg-the-professor, then your curiosity can be easily slated at a number of web sites. If you want to know about the many books, computer games, and stories authored by Aaron Rosenberg-the-author, there is alsoplenty of material.

But Aaron Rosenberg himself? Nothing.

So, a disclaimer. I reserve the right to make up stuff about him to fill my quota of words. Don’t worry, it won’t be any less accurate than what you see on Fox News and CNN every day.

OK, I did find a couple of pictures on his web site, but who’s to say they’re really him? In one, he was background for some other author. Another he posted sideways so I had to turn my computer on it’s side to see it. There is a good head shot at one of his web sitesthat tells us nothing about him, but on the other two (here and here), he’s a cartoon.

When I tracked down the elusive Mr. Rosenberg, the first thing I asked him was about was this whole secret identity thing. “Cris Ramsay was the name the publisher selected.”

That was it. No further details. Apparently a man of few words unless they are in one of his hundred or so books. So I asked him why there isn’t more information available about Aaron Rosenberg.

“I’m terrible at self-promotion, so I don’t talk myself up much. And I haven’t taken advantage of various promotional avenues, including the Internet, even half as well as I should.”

And yet he’s sold more books than, I don’t know, anybody, I think.

Cris Ramsay’s (that Aaron’s pseudonym in case I haven’t mentioned that previously) first book is titled Eureka: Substitution Method. It is based on the characters and settings of the popular Eureka television show, and two more books are in the works. Here’s Cris/Aaron’s summary:

“Founded by Albert Einstein and Harry Truman after WWII, Eureka is home to the greatest minds in science and technology. But the creations of these eccentric geniuses threaten to destroy the world as often as they save it. Jack Carter is the everyman sheriff who must use his common sense and unique street smarts to keep a lid on this Pandora’s Box of a town. Especially now, when Eureka’s people, cars, and buildings are being swapped with people, cars and buildings from other places.”

Digging further into the Aaron Rosenberg identity (if that’s who he really is), I found that he has worked, at various times, as a creative director for an animation studio, a script editor for a film company, submissions reader for a publishing house, English composition and literature teacher at two colleges, and a graphic designer for an insurance company. Besides the obvious question of why an insurance company needed a graphics designer, I asked him about these jobs.

“As a script editor, I had a great boss, and really enjoyed working on the scripts. I’d love to do more of that, both script editing and script doctoring, and ultimately some scriptwriting of my own. I miss teaching, actually. It’s funny because I can be a bit shy but I had no problem teaching thirty some-odd students at a time.”

A bit shy? That’s like saying Glenn Beck has an opinion or two.

And then there is yet another identity, used at his various web sites and blogs – The Gryphon Rose. Like the Scarlet Pumpernickel and the Green Lantern, I thought this might be his crime-fighting identity, the cloak he uses to test the new weapons found in his imaginative interactive games. But alas, no. “It’s actually a holdover from my college days, a nickname I picked up back then and decided to keep around.”

So, with all of this work and research, here’s what I know about the elusive Aaron Rosenberg. When he’s not churning out books and computer games from his condo in the famed Dakota building in New York City, he can be found at his estate on Shelter Island with his family, former Miss America Patty Jean Henderson and his two precocious children, Albert and Amelia, both attending Columbia University despite their tender ages of 13 and 14. On weekends, he tours Long Island Sound in his vintage ChrisCraft runabout or, when the weather permits, goes whale watching from above in his Quicksilver GT500 ultralight aircraft. For exercise, you can find him on the courts at the Westhampton Country Club with his mixed-doubles tennis partner, Anna Kournikova.

OK, that’s the part I made up.